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  • Writer's picturemaggiehsmith07

Petty, Petty Bitch

On January 1, we dropped empty cardboard boxes off at the city recycling station near our home. We’d accumulated a lot of boxes leading up to Christmas. Then we went to Starbucks which had an incredibly long line given the time of day. I agreed to run in and pick up our order. I was about to drop my phone into the cup holder in my car when I noticed that the fast food cup I’d left in my car had apparently leaked through, filling both cup holders with old Diet Coke.

New year, old me.

For now….& in that regard.

I am grateful l had time off of work. I booked the time off and then got sick. Sitting around blowing my nose and napping wasn’t exactly what I had in mind. Frequently, when I get a cold, it morphs into a sinus infection. This year (literally!), I invested in one of those Navage devices which is like a shop vac for your sinuses. Disgusting but I had hoped effective - but it wasn’t effective enough to squash the infection so I’m now taking antibiotics.

Being an adult is so boring. I cannot believe I write about boring assed shit like sinuses and nose shop vacs. On the other hand, I guess there are redeeming qualities to adulthood. I will have to get back to you on what those are but for now, giving yourself permission to do less comes to mind. Like - less Christmas decorating. Then there is less to put away. I think the older I get, the more the idea of less and simplicity are appealing.

Back to work this week - a galloping start to the year. I meet with my newest editor assigned to my book next week. Which is great because I’m a teensy bit confused about the process. Between the developmental editor and this editor, there was another editor. Who was that? Where did they go? What the hell is going on?

Clearly, one of my intentions for the new year is to get this book done and on time in terms of publishing.

I think writing a book can be both therapeutic and also drive the writer to realize they need therapy to process some old shit. I don’t have time for shit in general what with a book to write/edit. Shit like energy vampires - Facebook can be an energy vampire and every time I want to pull the proverbial plug on that, a small miracle of grace accurs. For example, this past weekend, someone messaged me there and trusted me to hold space for their truth - so I stay on for these small blessings. People can be energy vampires too.

I have a new t-shirt that says "Stop Rescheduling Joy". The phrase struck me when I saw it because we've all been guilty of that at one time or another. There are numerous ways we reschedule, postpone and delay joy. I have a pencil that says "petty, petty bitch." It reminds me not to postpone or delay joy by being a petty bitch. And - if you spend time with energy vampires or petty bitches - guess what? You will delay the fuck out of joy. And believe me, ain't nobody got time for that! I was reminded of this, again, on New Year's Eve which would have been my friend Jeanette's 47th birthday. Only she died when she was 35 because cancer is a twat waffle (which actually is an insult to both twat's and waffles). I thought of her as I do frequently but always on her New Year's Eve birthday - because if a NYE birthday was befitting of anyone, it was Jeanette. And I thought of that Buddha quote: The trouble is, you think you have time.

Su-fucking-prise! You don't have time. But, you have a choice on who to spend your time with. How you use your own energy - being a petty, petty bitch or not.

This post is not directed at anyone. As my AA sponsor would say to me, "You're not that important." But - if the shoe fits, put that sucker on, Cinderella.

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