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  • Writer's picturemaggiehsmith07

This is My Excited Face

We set the clocks back last weekend and I still haven’t quite adjusted to darkness enveloping everything in the early evening. At 5 PM it seems much, much later. It’s the sudden and slow slide into the holidays and with that, 2017 will be over in a whirl.

Recently, Andrea and I saw someone who wondered aloud if perhaps we were upset with them because we were quiet. We’re not upset with anyone, except politicians. We’re in a dull stretch where we keep the trivial details to ourselves rather than share them…

“Well. We planned our menu and made our grocery list for Thanksgiving. Then we inventoried our spices and threw out 3 cans of expired pumpkin…”

As if to prove the point, that night, Andrea dreamt of China, for a second time. When she researched what this could mean, she read, “China in a dream can also represent that your life has become a drag. That there is nothing fun in your life.”

Life ebbs and flows. I've learned to accept the ebbs and ride them out. When I was enlisted in the Army, I was stationed in Alabama. To say living in Alabama was boring would be an understatement. I would lament my boredom. And one day, there was a hurricane hitting the Gulf coast which required me to report to work at the airfield I was assigned to so that the helicopters could be brought off of the airfield and secured. I scrambled to pack up my dwarf rabbit and essential items - - such as Oreos. I drove to the base in the winds and driving rain, rabbit in the passenger seat, showing my ID to the dubious guard at the entrance to the base. After that blew over, literally, I stopped complaining about being bored.

Here it is, November. I love Thanksgiving. An entire day devoted to being thankful. Maybe life slows in order to create space for gratitude. Only I’m missing the opportunity because I’m bitching about the fact it’s dark or I’m worrying about things that won’t matter a few months or a year from now. Paradoxically, it’s impossible to be grateful and worried at the same time.

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