The sun is shining today and the temperature is forecasted to reach a high of 57. Just in time. This winter gave me a bad cough that lingered, sapping my energy. This past Monday, I worked from home, with the Boston marathon on mute in the background. A wordless soundtrack as the rain beat down outside, soaking the runners. Late in the day, I unmuted as Desiree Linden, USA, slid into the lead on Heartbreak Hill. It was too early to guess the outcome of the race, but in that moment and watching the runners continue to slog it out, hope blossomed in my soul. I imagined it like a crocus, pushing on like the runners, in spite of the conditions. Desiree Linden did win on Monday, making her the first woman to win the Boston Marathon in 33-years.
After the marathon, Desiree admitted that she’d considered dropping out of the grueling race, but pressed on, “…and then I turned back and I was in 3rd or 4th and I thought, ‘I probably shouldn’t drop out.’ So I kept going.….I felt miserable…sometimes, when you pick it up and just forget about how you’re feeling and engage for a little bit, you can turn everything around.”
The following day, I realized that I’d stitched together 5,480 days one day at a time which had added up to 15-years of sobriety. I hadn’t dropped out of that race. It wasn’t always easy but yes, I engaged and turned everything around. I can do hard things. You can too. We’re all in a marathon, it certainly isn’t a sprint, and we’ll engage with people out on the course - - we’ll help them and they will help us. And we’ll make it.
So yeah. I’m engaging a bit more this week, breaking the grip of winter despondency. I dusted off my 18 in ’18 list and signed up for my first barre class next week. After putting a deposit down on our new fence, I realized Andrea and I will not be vacationing much further than Maine this summer, and that’s okay. I sent our deposit in for that as well – things to look forward to on the horizon. As for today, we’ll get outside and enjoy the warmth of the sunshine that we’ve missed so much.
