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  • Writer's picturemaggiehsmith07

Cigarettes et urine


I spent the first part of the week traveling for work. When I arrived at my destination, I made my way to the rental car garage. It was a warm day and the garage stunk of cigarettes and urine. I’ve been to this airport before and the garage doesn’t ordinarily smell like this – but this smell captures the essence of the week I’ve had so in retrospect, it’s fitting. When I got to the rental car counter, the agent furrowed his brow and said all he had to offer me was a mini-van. So I drove that

I flew home midday Wednesday so that I could participate in the 5k that I’d signed up for months ago. Registering for a race always seems like a good idea in the moment and after I’m done, but seldom in the actual running part. Thankfully, the evening was not too warm or humid as it has in years past and this year’s route did offer a 5k option instead of their traditional 10k.

I’m ground down after my eau de toilette week of cigarettes et urine and here it is, only Thursday. So I’m planning a weekend dotted with self-care activities to restore my veneer of sanity and balance. I’m also day dreaming. The other evening, it occurred to Andrea and I should pay our respects to London for their response to Trump’s visit to their fair land so I’ve begun researching a September 2019 trip to London and Paris. Paris because, what the hell, we’re so close and I can expand my French vocabulary beyond “oui, oui.” Which I am fond of saying. Perhaps because it sounds like wee wee. I digress. And, I want to add, if you’re reading this and thinking that I sound un-Patriotic, I’m thinking you may not truly grasp what the actual fuck is going on in America and who’s running this shit show. So – non, I am not un-Patriotic. Andrea recently quoted Mark Twain who said, “Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.” Preach, home boy. So I figure that planning a trip and learning some French will give me something to do besides tweeting mean things to politicians. The other day, the White House tweeted some absolute rubbish (I believe they say that in London. At least, I hope they do) to which I replied and helpfully suggested they shove it up their ass. Andrea fears I’ll end up on a government watch list. Well, watch me learn French baiseurs-de-mère! (Google it).

September 2019 is a long way off. So it’s not like I’ll be self-caring it up in London/Paris any time soon. What do you do for self-care? To re-balance and restore? Here’s a list of some of my favorite things….

  1. Apply a biore nose strip. There is something rewarding about ripping that crap from your pores. A face mask is a good follow up to this.

  2. Floating in my pool.

  3. Reading.

  4. Writing.

  5. Coloring cat butts. I don’t know if that’s a favorite yet but I’ll let you know after I bust out my new coloring book this weekend.

  6. Doing some sort of exercise. Endorphins FTW.

  7. Smooshing Andrea and my pets and giving them love.

  8. Getting back on the gratitude beam by keeping my gratitude journal.

  9. Eating healthy food - garbage in, garbage out.

  10. Binging out on Investigation Discovery.

Feel free to share yours! Bonne nuit!


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