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  • Writer's picturemaggiehsmith07

Normal Conversations


This morning, I awoke to a conversation where Andrea was describing her identifying marks. “In case I ever go missing - I have this mark on my foot where I stepped on the curtain rod. Oh! And I have graphite in my arm here from 4th grade.” “How the hell did that happen? Did you piss someone off and they shanked you with a pencil?!” I asked. “No! Someone threw a pencil and it stuck in my arm!” “Was your 4th grade arm made of silly putty? How did that happen?” “It was sharp!” Later today, Lola was on the bed today and I was petting her when Dex came up. Lola hissed at her & Dexy’s mouth made that little cat face that says something was stinky. Lola left. “Dex says she smells like the hell.” Andrea said. “They are in a fight! They’ve been having some disagreement for weeks - ever since Elliot...” I said, trailing off. “We should call Suzy - have her mediate.” Andrea suggests, referring to a pet psychic/animal communicator. “I want to know why they’re in a fight!” I say. “Is this a normal conversation? Talking about a pet psychic helping our cats make peace?” Andrea says, bringing us back to reality. “Mmmm...” I think. “What conversations do you suppose are happening on this street right now? If our cats having a fight is our biggest problem, we’re lucky.” Andrea says. “Okay. We can have normal conversations.” I say. “I don’t want to have normal conversations! I have normal conversations all week!” Andrea, who is also in Human Resources, practically shouts. On Friday, Andrea had a particularly challenging day that kept her at work later than anyone wants to be at work on a Friday. She called me on her way home to vent. “....well. I didn’t actually say pissing contest. I said ‘tit for tat’.” Andrea explained. “Yeah. Because tit is so much better to say at work.” I muse. Andrea goes on as if I hadn’t said anything. Today we attended the 7th annual Spirit of Hudson Food & Brewfest. I know for certain it was the 7th because this was hotly debated and then looked up online to settle the debate (Anne - I’m sorry you weren’t right). Then, at the after party, we were talking about how many after parties the host and hostess have held. “There was the boobie party. Then the party after the mud. Then this year.” Andrea said, listing then off on her fingers. “If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.” Maya Angelou 


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