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  • Writer's picturemaggiehsmith07

Dear October: F You.

I haven’t blogged about life in general much because I’ve been too busy trying to crank out a personal essay a week for my writing class. That, and, October 2019 has been nothing to write home about.

The silver lining with my car is that my transmission is not wrecked. It seems that the Subaru CVT transmission is a finicky beast that needs not a drop over or under in terms of transmission fluid. At least that’s Subaru’s story and they’re sticking to it. This means I have approximately $1,100 in bills associated with this debacle and not over $7,000 for a new transmission. On Friday evening, while I was sitting in urgent care (more on that in a minute), WEDONOTKNOWWHATTHEFUCKWEAREDOING-oline called me and asked if I would withdraw my complaint with the Better Business Bureau and remove my damning reviews of WEDONOTKNOWWHATTHEFUCKWEAREDOING-oline. I almost laughed and then realized this guy was serious.

“Sure – as soon as you reimburse me.”

“Oh yeah! We have your receipts!” “Great. I’ll withdraw my Better Business Bureau claim when you reimburse me.” Then I hung up to discuss my urinary tract infection with the sympathetic doc at Urgent Care who also proclaimed me to be dehydrated. I wanted to explain, “Yes, well, when it feels your bladder is engulfed in flames when you pee, you don’t really feel compelled to hydrate which will make you have to pee again.” Instead, I raced to CVS to pick up my prescription and unsweetened cranberry juice which tastes similar to how I imagine varnish would taste.

Saturday, I laid low while my right kidney attempted to incite a riot.

Sunday, I felt better and dashed off my 2nd essay for my personal essay course that’s taught by the FAMOUS, PUBLISHED WRITER. Then, I extricated my cozy home to attend a NanoWrimo event hosted at a local, independently owned bookstore. I attended this event not because I want to attempt to write a book in November but because I want to be more disciplined about writing and to meet other people more disciplined than myself. Then today, my teacher gave me feedback on my personal essay which made me feel that I should say, “Ah, fuck it.” And never write again. I’ve decided I hate her and everyone in this fucking class. Later, I decide I’m being irrational so I will turn in my goddamn essay this week after all. Mainly to make her suffer through reading another one.

My one outing to the bookstore wiped me out, although my right kidney isn’t howling as much, I woke up tired today and frustrated that I’m tired. I had a meeting this afternoon and I went into thinking, “All will be revealed!” Only it wasn’t really revealed. I came home and loaded bag upon bag into the rental dumpster in the lightly misting rain. The dumpster is being picked up on Wednesday and I knew when I booked it that Andrea would be out of town. I hadn’t planned on a blazing bladder or kidney slowing me down on Saturday when Andrea and I could work together. I collapsed on the couch after hoisting the big stuff into the dumpster with her.

Last week, after I’d turned the rental car in, the rental car company called to tell me there was a dent on the roof of the car that apparently wasn’t there before. Only, I’d walked around the rental car before picking it up. I hadn’t hoisted myself up to survey the roof. I’m being told I am on the hook for this dent.

I just fished the kitten out from under the deck. Outside. In the wet. I wish he’d cook me dinner.

I’ll be glad to see October and its aftermath begin to fade.

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