On Sunday, I watched some show on Investigation Discovery (ID). ID is an entire network dedicated to true crime. The bad news is there is enough crime to keep this network producing new content and running shows 24/7. True crime is my guilty pleasure. Podcasts. Shows. Whatever.
The people murdered are usually perfectly nice people whose paths have crossed with some homicidal asshole. Take for example the woman we learned about on Sunday. She was described as having a “zest for life!”.
“Andrea. Do you have a zest for life?” I asked.
“Mmm. Nah.” Andrea replied.
“Andrea! Really?! What about me? Do I?!” I ask – realizing if she answers yes, I’ll be the one murdered in the relationship – if that should happen some day. Hopefully not. But, I can also imagine a detective asking Andrea, “Did she have any enemies?” That and my zest could potentially get me bumped off.
“Yeah – yeah, you have zest.”
“Really? How?”
“Well – like with your cute shoes and stickers.”
Huh. I doubt that the murdered lady’s friends thought she had zest because of her cute shoes and affinity for stickers but whatever.
Today was day 3 of driving a standard. And? I ventured out of parking lots today. Traffic makes me nervous. So today, I was turning onto a cul-de-sac to allow a car to pass and kind of panicked and took the turn without braking much.
“Oh my god!” Andrea exclaimed.
“What?”
“You could have rolled the car!”
“You said ‘oh my God’ like you were surprised – not like I was going to roll the car.” I said.
“Well, yeah. My zest for life. We talked about that.” Andrea explained.
This is Andrea- I imagine people will think that I’m depressed reading about my lack of zest for life, and while clinically, this is a true statement- I am properly medicated and under the supervision of a physician. I have a zest for a lot of things- dogs, sonos equipment, trying new beers, teaching Maggie how to drive standard. It’s definitely not dull- what she failed to tell you during her “turning onto a cul-de-sac” scenario was that she took her right foot off of the gas and crossed over to the clutch. LEFT FEET GO ON CLUTCHES! I felt like a failure as a teacher.
Whatever. Let’s focus on the positive. We did not roll over! But because I was kind of nervous, I got hot and thirsty. Not just because of the near miss on the roll over but because at one point, I observed something concerning.
“Something smells…” I said, sniffing the air.
“That’s the smell of the clutch burning.”
“Ah.”
Then I got us to the gas station for beverages. Andrea emerged from this stop with 2 adult beverages – for her. And a water for me.
Wait a second…let’s throw this puppy in reverse for a second (Side note- Mags, in my car, how do you shift into R?) what Maggie is also glossing over (which may have contributed to the 2 adult beverages-which I waited until I got home to enjoy btw) is that we had some “fun with hills” today. This resulted in a few pretty strong bucks of the car and I may have a bruise where the seatbelt engaged- don’t worry I bruise easily in general. My favorite part of these hills, and of the lessons in general are: A. When Maggie forgets how to drive a car all together – like wait, I have to brake or slow down before I turn? No way! Or B. When she forgets that the clutch is a thing and either can’t start the car; or tries to shift out of neutral and looks at me like “what’s wrong?!” She’s a smart girl, she can do this, she just needs to take a deep breath.
Signing off to say this mantra, join me if you will! Ommmmmmm…..Left foot is for clutch!
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