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  • Writer's picturemaggiehsmith07

Laugh Riot

Recently, Andrea and I read the fine print and the 31-page document that details the relocation package that was presented to Andrea when she signed her offer letter back in September. It was then that we realized that we were required to have a second realtor come to our home. Oops. This meant we had to cancel the staging appointment. Realtor #2 was scheduled to come to our home at 1030 which Andrea had scheduled as a nod to when I’d mistakenly thought that realtor #1 was coming at 1030 when, she was coming at 10 AM and I was barely stumbling out of the shower. Well, joke’s on her because realtor number two rolled in at 10:06 this morning while Andrea was vacuuming the living room.

“Shit! She’s here!” Andrea shrieked, barefoot and staring out the window. “OH! She’s taking pictures! She has a gift – weird.”

I mumbled, “Okay. Okay. We’re fine.” Which is what I do when I am not sure I believe that things are fine but I’m trying to talk myself into believing that they are. Andrea calls these my “pep talks”. I stood there muttering.

“I’ll let her in.” Andrea said, probably hoping I’d get my shit together by the time Leah materialized in our living room. I trailed Andrea to the front door.

Leah had a plate of homemade muffins because she wants me to remain fat likes to bake (we didn’t eat any. High five to us). Leah “got” our quirky aesthetic and didn’t seem to think that it would take us an entire month to depersonalize and declutter. As we sat at the kitchen table, Wrigley decided to act up. Which is funny because Andrea thinks Wrigley's a saint, even though two professional dog trainers told her this wasn't the case. So there Andrea sat, in denial, as Wrigley howled. Then demanded to go outside. Then howled again. Andrea's cheeks burned and she rolled her eye while I laughed as she was presented with further evidence that Wrigley is not a saint.

Maureen (Realtor #1) underestimates our ability to push ourselves to the edge of a nervous breakdown and get the job done! Kidding. Sort of. At the suggestion of a wise sage at my office, I purchased a white board so we can both see what we need to do and when.

In short, it's a laugh riot over here. Howwwwwllllll.

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