In June I began a writing program. Initially, they eased you into things. When July rolled around, I was assigned a developmental editor which meant I actually had to start writing so she could do her job. We meet weekly, on Friday’s, which means I need to submit the writing prior to that so she can edit. Initially, these writing assignments were referred to as “stories” which means “shorter than chapters”. But we are moving onto chapters now, and discussions about marketing my book. It feels a bit like a speeding train. It feels like this meme…
I’ve always wanted to write a book so here I am. Sometimes, I want to quit but I’ve already churned out a lot of words so I’m gonna keep going. It seems too late turn back. I’d let people down - mainly myself. I haven’t blogged in a long time - and blogging now feels like I’m cheating on my book.
Last Sunday, I told Andrea I was struggling with doing it all. The irony of this is that my book’s actually about the fact that women cannot do it all - something has to give. Andrea said, “Well. Things could be worse - you could be doing meth. Or whatever drugs Michelle McNamara was on when she was writing her book.” McNamara was actually on a cocktail of drugs as she wrote “I’ll be gone in the dark” which led to solving the mystery of the Golden State Killer.
The reality is I’m writing this stone cold sober. Good god.
Many years ago, I worked for a woman named Joan Hyde. She’s brilliant and kind. She had more faith in me than I had in myself, she’d assign me work with little direction. I recall going to her for direction on more than one occasion and she’d smile and say, “Throw words on paper.” At the time, I found this to be less than helpful but over the years, I’ve heard Joan’s words echo in my head when I’m not sure what to write, or say, or do. Mainly as it relates to work, but now as I’m trying to crank out an entire book.
I took Friday off and had several meetings related to the book - one interview, a “book positioning meeting, and a meeting with my developmental editor. Then a massage. Today I slept way too late. Surprisingly late. Then I read - words I hadn’t written. A fiction book. Andrea and I played pinball. All of this to say I didn’t write. Tomorrow morning, we’re taking a little road trip. Dabbling in adventure. Exploring the possibility of expanding adventure.
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